Wow, This is HARD!

Okay, I'm at work. I've been at work for roughly 5 hours. I've cried roughly 25 times. I've already been to visit Kate once and I'm getting ready to go again. I feel like everyone at work is talking gibberish. I have no focus. I'm exhausted. I want to be at home with Kate. I know I'm being a big baby. But this is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I was only at work for about 2 hours when Kate's teacher called and said she was refusing to take her bottle. So I went down there to feed her. It may have just been my imagination, but Kate wouldn't even look at me when I was there! It broke my heart. I fed her, burped her, then turned her back over to the teacher and left, crying all the while. What is wrong with her? Why won't she take a bottle? Is she mad at me for leaving her there? Is it my immense guilt that's making her react this way? I hope this gets easier. I'm assured by several working mothers that it does, indeed, get easier. I just want to fast-forward in time to when it does get easier. Right not I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I'm really trying to hold it together. Luckily I have two really cool co-workers who have kept me laughing today. But I'm also concerned that my boss will not understand/tolerate me going to the preschool to feed Kate. I just hope hope hope that she starts taking a bottle soon! This is tough. Tougher than I ever thought it would be. And to have a boss who doesn't have kids might prove to be a challenge. But so far he's been really nice about everything. Okay, I'm going to take my co-worker down to meet Kate. Only four hours left until I can go home!